


None of it seems to matter anymore

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction, Radio 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2759945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick hires someone else to train his dog and Louis does everything he can to undermine them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	None of it seems to matter anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](http://tippingvelvets.tumblr.com/post/105002308659/au-where-nick-brings-pig-home-and-needs-a-dog) post.
> 
> Honestly I was going to bed and then wade posted this and suddenly it was all I could think about and then I was writing and not it is 2am and I have this.
> 
> Sorry about any mistakes but as I said it is 2am and I am going to bed, proof reading will be done in the morning. 
> 
> This doesn't really do it justice but hopefully you all like it anyway.

The thing about impulse buying a dog is that they suck you in with their cute faces and wagging tails only to leave you completely unprepared when they destroy your entire home the second you turn your back – or that’s just Nick’s opinion anyway.

Standing over the wreckage of his living room the only words he could conjure were a simple “I hate you,” all delivered in a happy high pitched voice that had Pig waving her tail excitedly at him as she delighted in the ruination of Nick’s brand new carpets.

And sure, he should have known it wasn’t a good idea to leave his still relatively new dog free to roam the house while he popped down the street to grab some milk rather than lock her up in the laundry, but the expression puppy dog eyes came from somewhere: namely Nick’s new dog, Pig.

It’s not even a total loss either, he supposes – the large wee stain centred directly in between the torn up cushions and rather large poo (he should probably start feeding her less) does give him good ammunition for the radio. If he’s learnt anything in his year of hosting breakfast radio, it’s that the British public love a good story about Pig wrecking his home.

That being said, he still is faced with the giant poo and wet patch to clean up, if only he could stop Pig attempting to climb up his leg first.

He manages to coax Pig away with the promise of food (the time for re-evaluating her diet is after the giant shit has been cleaned up) and sets to work, trying to restore his living room to its former glory.

His phone rings as he’s scrubbing at his carpet, the name _Harry Styles_ flashing across his screen.

Harry, an intern over at Radio 1, had been partly responsible for Nick’s adoption of Pig. Instead of talking Nick out of adopting a dog on a whim, he had taken one look at Pig then turned to face Nick, his puppy dog eyes just as on point as the dogs and really Nick hadn’t stood a chance. And now he’s cleaning shit off of his carpet.

“Guess what I’m doing right now, Harold.” He cuts Harry off before he can even drawl out his usual “Hi”. He’s a bit annoyed at the moment and Harry’s in the right position to catch the brunt of it.

“Oh you’re not out are you?” Harry sounds genuinely upset on the other end of the line, reminding Nick of just how he became so endeared with him in the first place. “I wanted to do lunch.”

Nick lets out a long suffering sigh, already knowing he’s going to be scrubbing his floors again after her returns from lunch with Harry.

“No, I’m not out.” He replies, wedging the phone between his cheek and shoulder so he can continue scrubbing. “No. Remember that dog you told me would be a good idea to adopt? She’s taken a giant shit on my carpet and ruined all my cushions. She’s such a menace.”

Pig chooses that moment to trot back into the room, finished with her lunch and runs up to Nick, sniffing and licking happily at Nick’s face. And honestly he’s not made of steel, regardless of the bag full of shit he may be holding at that second he still loves that dog a damn lot.

“No she’s not, Grimmy. She’s just a puppy.” Harry draws out the word puppy managing to sound sad and defensive all at once like Nick’s the bad guy who shat all over the carpet not the dog. Nick hates Harry again.

“Puppy or not, I fear my carpets may never be the same.” He finishes up, standing from the floor and brushing himself down, looking down at his dog a mixture of fond and exasperated. “Anyway, lunch?”

“Yes!” Harry agreed, as though he had forgotten a moment. “Yeah, lunch. That place with the good chicken, you know near the studio… with the cool chairs.”

Nick almost scoffs with how hard he rolls his eyes. Leave it to Harry to be as vague as possible but still have Nick know exactly what he means.

“Very specific, Harold. I’ll see you at one.”

They ring off, Nick letting himself outside to dispose of the bag of poo he has been holding for far too long.

Back inside, he slips on his shoes, searching around for his wallet and keys before turning to face his dog.

Pig looks up at him, head tilted to the side, before sinking down onto her stomach looking up at him with sad eyes.

“Oh no you don’t.” Walking over to the laundry, he opens the door, looking at Pig who seems to sink in on herself even more.

“No, I’m not falling for this again. Get inside.”

Pig follows grudgingly, sad eyes never ceasing for a moment even as Nick is shutting the door to lock her in. After that it’s a quick run from the house so he can pretend not to feel bad about the soft whimpers he hears coming from the laundry room.

“It’s for the good of the cushions, Grimshaw.” He mumbles to himself as he ambles down the street. “For the good of the carpet.”

 

He arrives at lunch to find Harry already seated, menu folded up neatly in front of him, sipping on what appears to be some elaborate cocktail.

“Hiya, Grimmy.” Harry greets him, standing up to hug Nick before they both settle in, placing their orders and catching up on each other’s days.

“So I was thinking,” Harry starts after the waiter has gone to collect their food, looking at Nick intently over folded hands. “You’re having some trouble with Pig, you need a trainer. I know just the guy.”

“Go on.” Nick’s a little sceptic, Harry knows a lot of strange people, case in point the strange Irish bloke Harry recommended to record a few guitar riffs for his sound board, who now keeps randomly showing up at the studio with his guitar to serenade Nick and the crew with snippets of “this new song I’ve been working on”. Nick is actually not sure if this kid thinks they work at an actual recording studio rather than a radio station or whether he’s just coming in to see Harry and Nick keeps somehow getting caught in the crossfire.

“Well, my friend Louis – I’ve told you about Louis right? Well his mum had a friend whose daughter got this Labrador and like they were having heaps of trouble with it. I think that’s quite common in Labradors because my cousin had one when we were little and he was crazy, like always running around and barking at leaves and stuff. We used to throw leaves at it just to make it bark, but like he was a great dog. He reminded me a bit of this dog my friend in primary school had who – “

“Good God, Harold, please, _please_ , get to the point.” Nick interrupts loudly, cutting of Harry mid ramble before he could somehow relate the story back to the time his mum bought him a new pair of jeans. “You’re friend Louis.”

“Right, Louis, yeah. Well their family friend was having heaps of trouble training their dog but for some reason the dog really responded to Louis, he was like a dog whisperer or something so now he’s a dog trainer. I bet I could probably get you a pretty good deal too. He’s still relatively new at it so he needs the clients but he’s great at it. Like my friend had a dog – complete nuisance, but Louis trained it right up. You should hire him.”

Nick has heard a lot about Harry’s friend Louis. It’s always Louis did this, Louis that, I love Louis. Nick honestly cannot decide whether this Louis bloke would be the world’s biggest twat or a genuinely good bloke. Another thing about Louis though, is every time Nick hears of him he appears to be in a different profession.

“I thought Louis was a hairdresser?”

“He was, said his hand kept getting too cramped though so he quit.”

“But then wasn’t he a waiter for a bit?”

“There was a, um, bit of an incident with a customer. He was a dick it completely was not Louis’ fault, but yeah he got let go.”

“The job at the locksmith?”

“Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly using his key copying powers for good.”

“What he was breaking into people’s houses and you want him to come into mine and train my dog.” Nick gaped at Harry disbelieving.

“No.” Harry sighed exasperatedly, as though Nick was the one being unreasonable. “He’s just a bit of a practical joker that’s all. He never used the keys of people he didn’t know.”

“Harry in the time that I’ve known you, this Louis bloke of yours has had more jobs than I’ve had birthdays. You’ll have to forgive me if I pass on him as a trainer.”

Harry frowned, a little crease forming between his eyes but relented. “Alright, I’ll let him know then. He’ll be right upset he loves dogs he was so excited.”

“Well you shouldn’t have bloody told him he had a job.” Nick doesn’t even know why he’s still pursuing it. He’ll find a trainer for Pig, one who is actually qualified and not just following their latest whim and that will be that. But for now, he’ll just enjoy his lunch with his friend.

 

 

Louis may have had trouble holding onto jobs in the past. He adamantly maintains he had not fallen asleep when his crane lost control and almost took out a whole building and chef had been a long shot from the start, but he’s putting those incidents behind him and moving on to something he’s good at. Dogs love him and he loves dogs. It’s a match made in heaven honestly.

So when Harry comes home from lunch with Nick Grimshaw and tells him that his royal twatface had said he didn’t want Louis training his dog because he wasn’t qualified and also accused him of thievery, well, he’s a little mad.

“What the hell does that asshole mean I’ve had more jobs than he’s had birthdays? He’s like 100 years old, Harry! I’ve had 20 jobs at best, maybe 30. Definitely not as many as that dinosaur has had years, he’s ancient.”

Harry is sitting on their couch, nodding his head along understandingly while Louis paces angrily up and down their living room.

“Who does he think he is?” Louis mutters under his breath, grinding his teeth together as he stomps his bare feet dramatically.

“You know what?” He turns abruptly, pointing a finger at Harry, who jumps a little, startled at the sudden outburst.

“What?” Harry asks.

“I hope that dog takes the biggest shit he’s ever seen, right in the middle of fuck faces bed.” Harry’s little “Heeey” goes unnoticed in the background as Louis is back to pacing. “I hope that dog of his remains untrained forever, causing Grimtwat a life of never ending exasperation and suffering.”

Harry’s texting now, mumbling out “mhm” every now and again to trick Louis into thinking he’s listening. Louis is no fool though.

“Harry Styles are you texting _him_ in my time of need. I am now unemployed because of him, Harold. He has robbed me of my lively hood, and you’re _texting_ him!”

Harry looks a little sheepish, placing his phone down on the couch beside him and turning his attention back to Louis.

“’m sorry, Lou. Come give me a cuddle?” He holds out his arms, Louis side eying him for a moment before giving in and slumping over to curl up in Harry’s side, his arms wrapped tightly around Harry’s torso.

“You’ll find a job soon, Lou, don’t worry. You’re the greatest dog trainer out there, Grimmy’s a fool for not wanting you, yeah babe?”

Louis grumbles a little, but nods his head all the same. He’s feeling marginally better about the whole situation until Harry’s phone lights up next to him, _Grimmy_ flashing across the screen.

“What does he want now?” He bites out, eyes fixated on Harry has he opens up the message, eyes scanning across the screen.

“Um.” Harry looks a little hesitant but is prodded along by Louis poking him impatiently in the side. “He was just telling me he has decided to hire a trainer after all, some girl.”

“Oh.” Louis sits up, his gaze unfocused somewhere on the other side of the room. He can feel Harry’s gaze fixed intently on him but he ignores him, jumping up on his feet again.

“Not good enough to train his dog, I’ll show him.” He mutters, taking off from the room, waving Harry off when he calls out to him from over his shoulder. “We’ll see who the better dog trainer is, Grimshaw.”

 

Louis has a plan.

Phase one may seem a little like stalking, but really he is gathering intelligence. So if he follows Harry to Grimshaw’s house one afternoon, making careful note of the key he uses to get inside, well that’s no one’s business but his own.

Phase two involves casing out Grimshaw’s house for the dog trainer to arrive and collect said dog – Pig, he soon figure out is the dog’s name and honestly, who names their dog Pig. He had rolled his eyes so hard it actually hurt.

Phase three is to observe any and all training sessions.

Phase four: undermine them.

Harry seems to be pleased Louis is getting out of the apartment more; probably not so much if he knew what Louis was doing, but Louis doesn’t plan on telling.

Once he’s gathered all his intel and used his locksmith connections to make a copy of Harry’s key to Grimshaw’s house he is ready to go.

He has calculated a time gap of precisely two hours between the dog trainer dropping Pig off home and Grimshaw arriving home from work. Exactly enough time for him to work his magic.

For a dog receiving two training sessions a day, Nick Grimshaw was about to have the world’s worst trained dog.

 

 

Nick doesn’t understand where he’s gone wrong. He’s a good person. He loves his friends, he loves his dog. So how does he get his dog to love his house and all his belongings.

Jamie, the girl he had hired to help train Pig, seems to be just as confounded as he is. Regardless of the fact she is taking Pig out every morning for obedience training, she just cannot get Pig to respond to her.

It’s reached the point where Nick cannot tell who hates who more, Pig or Jamie.

After three weeks of trying the poor girl had rung Nick up in tears claiming she couldn’t take it any longer and quit.

Six weeks and another two trainers later, Nick had accepted he had an untrainable dog.

He had accepted his fate of torn shoes, ruined cushions and carpet stains.

Seven weeks, three sets of cushions, two professional cleanings of the carpet, and five pairs of shoes later, Nick caved.

“Harry?” Harry mumbled a hello on the other end of the line, obviously having just woke up, completely oblivious to his friend’s crisis. “Is your friend still training dogs?”

 

An hour later three sharp knocks rang through the house, Pig jumping up making a run for the front door barking madly.

Nick pulled himself from the floor, where he had been lamenting his ruined pair of Prada dress shoes.

Opening the door he was greeted with the sight of a small boy, hair swept artfully across his forehead, blue eyes shining mischievously up at Nick. Also with the sudden quieting of his previously rioting dog.

“You must be, Louis. ‘M Grimmy.”

“Hullo, Nick. The boy pushed his way inside without waiting for an invitation, looking Nick up and down once before turning his attention to Pig who was still, very uncharacteristically, sitting quietly, eyes fixed intently on the newcomer. “And you must be Pig, hello Pig-dog.”

Nick watched the boy coo at his extremely well behaved dog, who was now licking Louis’ face all over, yapping happily at him as if she had known him her whole life.

“How?” Nick managed, still marvelling over the fact that his untrainable dog wasn’t jumping or barking when there was a complete stranger standing in the house.

Louis shrugged at him, his eyes shining as though there was something he was hiding.

“What can I say, I’m good with dogs.”

 

The next two weeks with Louis around were both the best and worst he had had in a while. The best because Pig had never been so well behaved in her entire life with Nick. She was no longer eating shoes, peeing on his carpet and this was the longest his cushions had lasted since he had got her.

The down side was Harry’s friend was a mouthy little shit who seemed to purposely place himself directly in Nick’s way at all times and took any and every opportunity to snipe at Nick even when was just doing something as simple as pulling on his socks. Nick honestly couldn’t figure him out.

Multiple times at work he had bemoaned to Harry that his friend was working some sort of black magic on his dog. He had stopped when he realised everything he said about Louis to Harry was reported straight back to the source because Harry may be a good and loyal friend but Louis Tomlinson has that boy wrapped around his little finger.

But if Louis’ sniping was what he had to put up with for a well-trained dog, well, Nick was going to grit his teeth and bare it.

Then the random late visits started.  

It was a Friday night and Nick had a group of his friends over for drinks when he heard a key turning in the front door, followed by the appearance of one Louis Tomlinson, who whistled and was immediately flanked by an ever loyal Pig, who had previously been settled quite happily in Nick’s lap but was happy as always to abandon her owner at the first sight of Louis.

“What are you doing here?” He asked dumbly, watching Louis scratch behind Pig’s ears while she panted happily.

Louis smirked at him from across the room, calling out a hello to the people gathered in Nick’s living room before making his way over, Pig running after him, needing to be at Louis’ side at all times.

“Night time is an iffy time for digs, Nick. Especially when their owners are drinking. It unsettles them.”

Nick gaped at the shorter boy. “You made that up.”

“Did not.”

“Well you’ve never just popped in at night before, what makes tonight so special?”

“Heard there was a party.” Louis’ gaze breaks away from Nick to wave at Harry from across the room, the other boy waving eagerly back before promptly falling off the sofa. Nick really needs to have a chat with Harry about loyalties. “And of course I didn’t want Pig to be alone in such a trying time. Plus I could go a drink.”

Nick blinked at him, his mind a little slow to process after his three glasses of wine.

“I am 80% sure you are full of shit, Louis Tomlinson. However, I am a tad drunk, and the only time Pig will truly behave is when you’re around so I guess you can stay a while.”

Louis grinned triumphantly, reaching a hand around Nick to grab a beer from Harry who had appeared behind him offering up drinks to Louis (Nick really needed to have words with that boy). He watched Louis be swept away by Harry and passed around to all his friends, introducing himself and being so charming Nick almost didn’t recognize him for the snarky brat he saw on a daily basis.

Throughout the night Nick couldn’t help but let his gaze be drawn to Louis from across the room, there was something about him that was just so magnetic and when he wasn’t being a complete asshat, Nick had to admit he was really quite beautiful.

Harry came to join him after a while, following Nick’s line of vision towards where Louis was laughing with Aimee and Daisy, the two girls practically fawning all over him.

“How is it, Harold, that your friend is a giant dick, yet every single person here is already half in love with him?”

“Every person?” Harry nudged Nick’s side, waggling his eyebrows at him, smirking all the while.

Nick scoffed. “Not me, obviously. He’s a prick.”

Harry hummed thoughtfully watching Louis for a while, before turning his attention back to Nick.

“You know he’s really not that bad when you get to know him.” Nick gave Harry his best ‘I find that hard to believe look’ but listened as Harry ploughed on.

“I think he’s got a bit of a crush on you actually. No, don’t look at me like that, Grimmy. Lou’s my best friend, has been since we were kids. I know when he’s got a crush and you, pal, are it.”

“Yes that’s why he makes my life a living hell.” Nick monotone, eyes drifting back towards the boy sitting cross legged on his living room floor, Pig nosing happily at him while he talked with Nick’s friends.

“You’re all he talks about at home you know. You and Pig, he adores both of you.”

“Harold, I am not drunk enough for this conversation. You’re bratty little friend definitely does not like me.” Harry shrugged at him but let Nick go. He headed towards the kitchen pouring himself another full glass of wine. He definitely was not drunk enough to be contemplating anything to do with crushes and Louis Tomlinson.

 

When it was much later and Nick was much drunker that was when his name coming from Louis Tomlinson’s mouth caught his attention.

Except Nick really must be drunker than he thought because there was no way he was listening to Louis tell an anecdote on how he spent almost two months sneaking in to “untrain” Nick’s dog  in an effort to undermine him for not hiring him to train her in the first place.

Just… What?

Nick marched across the room, grabbing Louis by the arm and pulling him off of the floor, dragging him out of the room, completely ignoring the protests coming from the smaller boy.

“What is wrong with you?” Nick demanded, pulling Louis into his bedroom, glaring down at the other boy angrily. “What is actually wrong with you?”

“You didn’t think I could train your dog so I had to prove you wrong.” Louis looked just as fired up as Nick did, which he didn’t really understand because Nick was the one who had just been ripped off hundreds of dollars in dog training fees all because of this little shit’s ego.

“Who even does that?” Nick was practically yelling now, all his guests in the living room seemed to have gone silent, obviously listening in on every word. “What kind of excuse is that, ‘I didn’t think you could do it’ you didn’t even know me! I’m sorry your ego is so fragile that you couldn’t take me not wanting you to train my dog even though I’d never even met you. Did it honestly matter to you that much?”

Nick was panting now, his shoulders rising and falling with every breath. Mad didn’t even begin to cover how he was feeling.

“Of course it mattered!” Louis yelled back, his eyes a mixture of anger and, was that hurt? “How do you think it feels to have your best friend tell you that some guy you’ve never met before doesn’t want to hire you because he thinks you’re an absolute failure? That you hadn’t even met me and you already knew that I was so shit I couldn’t even hold down a job. I’m good at this. I finally found something I’m good at and then some complete stranger goes tearing me down when you’d never even met me. Maybe I just wanted to prove that I can be good at something, that I _am_ something.”

Louis’ anger had faded out and instead he looked defeated. His shoulders hunched over, eyes avoiding contact with Nick’s.

Nick felt as though he were suddenly looking at a completely different person. This vulnerable side of Louis Tomlinson he had no idea even existed inside of the loud, brash confident boy he had known for the past month.

“Well,” Nick floundered. Honestly what was he supposed to say? Louis already looked so shattered, he couldn’t go ahead and make it worse.

“Well,” he tried again. “Obviously none of that’s true. You are good at something, and I don’t just mean being a little shit, because you’ve trained up Pig so well she bloody adores you more than she likes me. I mean honestly look at her she hasn’t left your side all night.” He gestured to Pig who was hovering at Louis’ feet, tail hanging between her legs, a confused look on her face.

A smile ghosted across Louis’ face for a moment at the sight of the dog, gone as quickly as it came.

“Louis you may be an annoying little shit, but don’t ever say you aren’t somebody. I may not know you that well and you make me want to neck myself half the time, but you walk in and you light up the room. You are more of a somebody than you know.”

Louis looked up at him then, his eyes a little watery, face splotched red.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, so small Nick almost didn’t catch it.

“What was that?” Nick asked, grin playing at the corner of his lips at the little cross look Louis adopted.

“I said, I’m sorry, Grimshaw. Don’t make me spell it out.” Nick chuckled as Louis glowered at him from beneath his lashes.

“Alright, I guess I can forgive you.”

It was silent then, their eyes locked intently, neither saying a word until Nick broke the silence.

“So do you want to go back out or – “

He was cut off abruptly by Louis launching up on his tippy toes, pressing his mouth to Nick’s in a harsh kiss, the older man frozen in surprise.

After a moment with no response from Nick, Louis pulled back, avoiding eye contact with Nick.

“Yeah let’s just go back out.” He mumbled, moving to go around Nick but was stopped, Nick’s hand gripping at his arm pulling him back in.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Nick murmured, pulling Louis back into a bruising kiss, their teeth clashing, hands roaming all over each other’s bodies.

They stopped when Nick’s hand began moving towards the zipper of Louis’ trousers, the younger boy pulling back and looking up at Nick, his eyes blown, hair messed up from Nick’s hands.

“Are we really going to do this with your dog watching?” He giggled when Nick looked down to see Pig still sitting at Louis’ feet gazing up at the two happily.

“Pig, out.” Nick tried, the dog ignoring him in favour of staying beside Louis. Nick groaned letting his head fall to Louis’ shoulder. “Bloody hell.”

“Pig. Out.” Louis’ voice rang out, followed immediately by Pig jumping to her feet and trotting from the room. Louis smirked at Nick’s disbelieving face.

“Well that’s just not fair.”

Louis laughed, pulling Nick in by the back of his head, his foot kicking behind him to push the door closed to unsuspecting eyes.

“Shut up and kiss me, Grimshaw.”

And of course Nick obliged.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://tomlnshaws.tumblr.com)


End file.
